Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
