Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
