Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
