We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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