Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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