no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He did a backflip because drugs
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