Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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