Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
