I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is the high leading the old right now
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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