she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
