You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
