My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
