He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
