whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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