So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
