Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
