dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
