Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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