Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
A+ Viking dick
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
