Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
