Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
