is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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