Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
