I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i now understand why vodka
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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