also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
