why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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