This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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