Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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