U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
