bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's always time for handjobs
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
