Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
