Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
