just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
