Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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