Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
