thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
