I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
