Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
