What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
