ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
