i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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