Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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