Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
