Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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