There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
