Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
