it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
