Don't you send me to vm
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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