today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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