I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
