You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
