That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
