We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
