Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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