JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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